God is gracious and merciful. Every day he shows me more grace than I could ever deserve. That said, life is good and difficult and challenging and frustrating. And that's just in a 30-minute period.
Ronnie, who is 10 months old now, is still waking at least twice every night. Or I should say, on a good night he only wakes twice. Most nights it's at least three or four times. I'm exhausted and when morning comes I nearly always turn on a movie for the munchkins and go back to sleep for another hour or so. This is a bad habit I desperately want to break. Let's face it, it's just not good parenting to let a 10-month-old, 2-year-old, and 3-year-old have free reign of the house for that long. Just this morning my husband realized he had left his boot knife in easy reach for the kids to find. They didn't, thankfully, but it still scared me to think about what could have happened.
We started a vegetable garden for the first time this year. While I'm really excited about it, I'm realizing that tending to the garden and watering our newly established backyard is taking an extra hour every day that I didn't really have to give. Not sure what to do about that, except stay up an hour later at night, which directly affects the exhaustion issue. Speaking of gardens, how worried should I be about birds (cardinals, bluebirds, etc.) hanging out in there? I know they'll eat the caterpillars, but will they also eat my young plants and eventually my tomatoes? Right now they just seem to be playing in the water when I have the drip hose running, but that could change.
We seem to be in a cycle of sickness right now. Two weeks ago Ronnie got some kind of virus where he ran a high fever for six days. Friday the older two started running fevers. Thankfully they never seems as miserable as the baby but it's still hard to know they're feeling poorly.
I'm feeling discouraged and overwhelmed by everything I need to do but haven't gotten to. If I kept a running list it would be pages long. I get things done here and there but it seems like once I get a handle on one area (like the laundry), other things pile up. And when I get to those things, suddenly the laundry has gotten unruly again.
And Ronnie is already awake. The kid will not take decent naps anymore and he's nursing every hour and a half. Growth spurt, maybe? Whatever it is, it's only adding to the regular exhaustion.
But God is merciful. My children are nourished, clothed, and happy. My husband is the best partner I could have ever asked for. The house isn't falling apart and the dishes aren't piled higher than the top of the sink. We enjoyed a good rain last week, the first for us in 2011. God is holding my family in His arms and I am so undeserving.
I'm still reading! And yes, God certainly is gracious! I can't believe how fast time goes! I "met" you before I had Lydia and she's nearly 2 and a half. I was looking at older photos of Shiph the other day and she was teenier than I remember! :)
ReplyDeletei'm still reading, a fellow police wife. :)
ReplyDeletewe're starting a small garden ourselves in a few weeks (gotta wait to plant until after Memorial Day here in WI) and I'm going to try to rig up something with very small mesh that the birds can't get through. I know they love strawberries but that's about all I can say on that subject without having gardened before this year also.
I'm still reading, too! I was just thinking I don't know how you do it having three little ones but you said it...a supportive husband and a gracious God who is always willing to lend us the strength we need. I may come crying to you looking for advice when baby number 4 gets here!
ReplyDeletehello there emily!
ReplyDeleteI can relate...my to do list would be pages long as well! It's just a season in our lives. :o)
But it sounds like, under the circumstances, you are doing well...thriving!
I'm reading :)
ReplyDeleteI read your blog! And I did the same thing with Abbie. I'd be so tired after getting up with her constantly that I would set her in her bedroom floor with a few toys and fall asleep in her doorway for an extra hour of sleep every morning. How much solid food do you give Ronnie? He might sleep better if he has his biggest meal right before bed. Oh, and our birds don't get the garden, just the bugs, and we've got lots of tomatoes.
ReplyDeleteI'm reading too!! So please continue to post.Can't wait to see pictures of your garden. As for the movie I am so guilty of that, I don't think there is no harm in it as long as it's not an all day thing.
ReplyDeleteI'm reading too! I think the wise thing to do, under the circumstances, would be to create a safe room. A place where you can sit/lay down with the kids with you and they're safe in that room. You do so much, have rough nights, and you've all been sick! You do need some extra rest. And yes, the garden might have to go for this year.
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