You know when everything goes wrong at once and you feel like the worst parent in the world because you can't seem to do anything right? Yeah, that's me right now. Kirk's rash is fading slowly, but he's still shooting snot rockets and feels downright miserable (or at least that's how he's acting). He wants held 24/7, but prefers to be held while the holder is walking around. My 6-month pregnant belly is NOT putting up with that. Shiphrah woke up this morning with a 101.8 fever. Did I mention she had just gotten over the cold she's had for two weeks? I think she probably had the fever yesterday too but I didn't think to check her. Her appetite was awful though...she ate a bowl of cereal, 1/2 a tortilla, a tiny donut, and a few teddy grahams and goldfish crackers all day long. This morning she didn't want breakfast and all she wanted to do was curl up in her little chair with her dog, elephant, and blanket. Then when I went to put Kirk down for his nap (which he is currently fighting) she followed me into the room and wanted to go back to bed too. Poor thing must feel awful. 
So yeah, why can't I keep my kids healthy??? I try so hard to get them to eat well...yogurt most mornings, fresh fruit every day, C-boost to drink every day, gummy vitamins, you name it and I've tried it! Short of trying to re-lactate and give them breastmilk (which I don't think would work) I'm not sure what to do anymore.
Needless to say, I'm not feeling like Mother of the Year right now. Shiphrah has been watching too many movies (she's averaging 2 hours a day lately) just because I can't deal with her when Kirk is being fussy and clingy. I also haven't figured out how to teach her to be quiet while he naps...so the TV turns on again then too. I need to just start doing a little learning time with her during his morning nap but I've been so exhausted from all the sickness that I just haven't felt like it.
Thanks to my wonderful mother-in-law and a couple of sisters-in-law, I was able to get some uninterrupted time to clean and do laundry last weekend. So at least the house isn't falling apart at the moment. That's my one accomplishment. Oh, and since Avery has switched back to B-shift at work, our relationship has greatly improved. Night shift sucked, y'all, I have the greatest respect for anyone who can do that long-term.
Thanks to everyone who commented on my finance poll post. Avery and I talked about it again and decided to use all but $1K to pay off the debt (leaving that for an emergency fund). Our Discover card balance is now wiped clean and we should be able to pay the rest of the Mastercard balance within the month. It's so exciting to be almost debt-free again! (Well, other than the mortgage. 
) Unfortunately some of the savings had to go towards four new sets of uniforms for Avery...those things are expensive. But the city does pay him a monthly uniform allowance of $50, so I shouldn't complain too much.
Well, I'm off to organize my grocery list. Whenever my husband gets back from running his errands, I need to head out to do mine. Have a great Thursday everybody!
don't be too hard on yourself. feeling guilty isn't good for anyone! i struggle with it too but we just need to dust ourselves off and know that we can be the mother our children need with God's help. there are seasons of lots of TV followed by seasons of nearly none. it's just part of the cycle. not every mom is good at every thing. believe me! her children may not watch tv but they do do other things that your children don't. dont' be hard on yourself. it's taken me 4 yrs but i am finally better at this. and when i meet the mom whose house is always perfectly clean, i no longer go home feeling bad about mine. i just know that a perfectly clean house isn't my thing. but i sure do like cooking with ava or taking them out for long walks in the fresh air! we all have our strengths and our weaknesses don't negate them!
ReplyDeleteoh and as for the sickness, that just seems to happen to many people at some point at least once a year. we all battle that. i will leave you with two words to live by... hand sanitizer! i think ava and sutton are pretty healthy compared to some and i think it has to do with that! santize everything! the table at the restaurant, their hands everytime you get back in the car, the shopping cart and restaurant high chair if you don't have the covers for them. really, santize!!!!! i know some people aren't fans of sanitizing but the only other option is germs! i pick sanitizing and if super bugs emerge then so be it! :)
erika
Emily Dear we all as mothers feel this way at one time or another. I so agree with Erika, you are being to hard on yourself. I know how it feels to have our little ones get sick, get well, then get sick again, it happens. I make sure when one is sick everyone stays away so no cross contamination happens. Also vacuum your air filter. and spray and wipe all door handles with Lysol. As for the house being perfectly clean that only happens when we have guest over, what they don't see won't hurt them lol. Having little ones does not make it easy to have a clean house but as long as you do a little at a time things won't get so bad. Remember you are pregnant and you do need to ease up on yourself. :O)
ReplyDeleteGina